have fun at tinkers! p.s. are there any hot guys who look like they wanna wait until marriage to have sex?
I want your puppy
I meant pussy
I would rather you take my puppy
My dignity? Collapsing on itself like a dying star.
what is it about summer that misdirects my moral compass so much?
had no condoms so I just made do with an empty doritos bag.
just next time i won't let coke make me think I'm superman and drink a shit ton.
id pay someone 5 dollars to tell me whos house im at right now. comfy couch though
This morning is cloudy with a high chance of vomiting all over the dentist. Stay tuned for further updates.
your love of good penises attached to ugly faces is disgusting and slightly disturbing.
Sometimes I think I have so much sex with you to be sure you're actually straight.
I just found out that I slept with Kate Gosselin's publicist back in June . Brb I have to wash myself endlessly.
There's scrapes on the inside of both my thighs.. Because we wanted to get drunk and climb trees naked.
I'm playing drinking games with a boy who looks like Liam Hemsworth. I think I'm fine.
i said cake fell into my bra, you stood up and yelled "Im coming soldier", leaped acrossed the couch and started motorboating my boobs. i would have been cool with it if your mom didnt keep calling me the "lesbiainizer"
I just opened my travel toothbrush holder and it smelled like vodka...maybe a vodka cranberry. This says a lot about my vacations.
Randomize
