I feel odd... a had sex with a chick and she keept her socks on...
Well. Nothing came of that. And to think I manscaped and dusted with gold bond.
The brown eye won't let me do that either.
Haha Tomato, Tomato. That doesn't work very well via text message.
new rule: cockblock me if I have had over a fifth of jack. no matter what.
He's sobering up. It was really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together.
We pulled over so he could pee and the next thing I know he's running down the hill by himself with his pants down
I vaguely remember having a 'grass is greener' conversation about our nipples. Dream or beautiful reality?
Beautiful, beautiful reality
I don't remember because I was drunk out of my mind, but I have it on good authority that weed cinnamon buns at 3 in the morning with chocolate milk are better than sex.
Think of all the island guys I could have. Ah well.
You can not bait me into a "how Stella got her groove back" call and response.
I walked into my room last night at 4 am and there's a random dude in his boxers eating oatmeal on my futon. I looked at him and went to bed
Learning to live poor pretty well. Cashed in all the coins in my car for nearly 60 bucks and yelled at a Pizza Hut manager, insisting I have a free pizza credit, until he just gave me a pizza.
also, my mom just called to make sure the dick tattoo on your arm was fake..
I mean, if I asked you, would you cum on cotton candy for me?
You can accomplish quite a bit with a can do attitude and a well placed ice cube.
Randomize
