i bet jesus would rush if he went to usc
the entire time we were hooking up i couldn't stop thinking about the bengals. thoughts?
My friend's 9-year-old son just informed me that for a cop station, you can't use a shotgun; you have to use a machine gun. Thank you, Grand Theft Auto, for single-handedly corrupting our youth.
I wouldn't necessarily call it an addiction, more of a passion. I'm habitually passionate.
how drunk are you?
What does that even mean anymore?
I have a surprise for you
Is it drugs? I want drugs. Or a puppy!
Another day, another engagement, another cat
if i actually get asked out by my dealer what could happen?
i don't know, but it probably involves bathtubs full of weed
I think my boss gives me work off weekends because he doesn't want me showing up hungover anymore..
He's the stereotypical redneck. He tried to go kayaking during a storm and almost got into a fight when a park ranger tried to stop him
Came so hard my ears popped. This lovely piece of news and pissin in my driveway brought to you by rum
Dunno. My heart says "no", my brain says "maybe" and my dick says "YES YES FOR THE LOVE OF GOD YES!!"
My blue shorts are now brown from all the stripper fake tan
I think one make out session at a bar per year is probably the best choice.
Went as "Party on, Wayne." And left as, "Partied out Wayne in a foot boot with new medical bills." Fuck Halloween...and vodka.
Randomize
