Honey, If i waited till marriage I wouldnt know what a dick tasted like.
He left an unopened 12 pack of beer by my bed. I guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex..
i can barely draw a stick figure let alone shave a heart into my pubes
I just made Jack Daniels snow cones.
No, i know about the eggs and penis, the oh wow was for the fire
Long labias. Talking about. Too drunk to explain. Tomorrow.
I was pretending that it wasn't happening. Until we had to roll down the windows as she was vomiting apologies into a Target bag.
Ecstasy should be its own food group.
Please, by all means, tell me what can't be helped by two stiff drinks & a blowjob?
Liar. My heart is broken and my boobs are disappointed.
Dude, you need better judgement.Trust me I know. I put my dick in the wrong mouths all the time
Do you think if I explain to her I want to have loud, unprotected sex with her sister she'll understand?
I never knew it was coming. He was cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, and then BAM! Best hookup ever.
Yeah I knew you'd like him. He's emotionally and physically self destructive.
We would have so much to talk about!
i ordered what the bartender said was called a pink cock, and kept saying it tastes like a disney princess. thats how my 21st bday went
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