I have way too many pictures of poop on my phone
well I washed the adderal like an idiot. the capsules broke but the beads inside were intact. so my landlady came in and caught me licking the dryer lint screen
just had sex in his gielfriend's bed, and puked all over it. i need to get out of here.
Just showed mom and dad the pics from San Francisco, while i played the Full House theme song in the background.
its my first week of college and i have a UTI
not easy being a whore now is it
i feel like everytime i say im going to quit drinking someone comes along with a better idea about drinking
i'm sorry for cheering you on when you were making out with him. i was just celebrating the fact he was decent looking for once
he turned two sober chicks into 7 drunken girls...he's my hero
I felt like a dog for all the times during sex that he said "good girl"
Just realized how many men I've had sex with for the first time in St. Patty's Day past. Currently sending "HAPPY SEXIVERSARY" texts...
Status Uddate: I lost half a tooth and Alison is taking Amy Grant requests via bullhorn
She's the drunk girl with the air-horn and sunflower seeds.
adding to the list of how to lure in freshman boys: take dogs for a walk, yell at them from across the street, sit on the curb at 3 in the morning sobbing
In case you're wondering what I'm doing, I'll be banging an 18 year old this weekend. Repeatedly.
I mean, I'm not upset that HE's getting married, I'm upset his penis has to go through with it by default
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