Also I am about to cut a ringtone from "Sex Machine" so James Brown can tell me to "get up, get on up" in the morning
I once woke up to the scream from 'get up offa that thing' and smacked my head on my desk
I'm gonna vom. In the dentist chair. Who makes a dentist appt for July fucking 5th.
I think I'm making progress on my commitment issues. I drunk made out with the same guy from last semester this weekend.
This is the first time I have ever hoped it's poison ivy on my cock
I'm laying here in fetal position. I feel like a traffic cone
Me. You. Shitty green clothes from Savers that we will dub alligator costumes. Middle of the quad tomorrow at noon. Bring your alligator voice and the pearls before swine comic.
You rolled around in the grass BEFORE we went in and said it was because "ladies love that eau de earth"
Does taking an old homeless guy to the strip club, buying him lap dances, and calling him pops all night count as a good deed???
You are a lesbian wizard with red hair. You are willow
Dude respond to my evite. You're either coming to the orgy or not.
The last time I saw her someone was carrying her on a bike and she was yelling that she was E.T.
was that the third sophomore you've banged this week?
third one in three days
She stood up through my sunroof the entire drive home. screaming her ass off and singing free falling..
I don't want to be flamboyant (says the guy who bought a hot pink suit to be a flamingo for Halloween)--but I don't mind being a little extra.
He made me promise not to describe his penis in detail to you....oops.
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