sooo how much is appropriate to spend on a vibrator? what if it is really legit looking?
I puked the same amount of times as the number of bars i went to last night
She asked how far humans have gone into a volcano because they did in spy kids. She was serious.
when I picked him up he smelled like cheeseburgers, had a bite mark around his left nipple and we think someone stabbed him in the forehead with a pencil... it was like the Hangover meets Texas Chainsaw Massacre
OMG HAIR ON HIS DICK. HAIR ON HIS DICK AS IN GROWING OUT OF HIS DICK. HAIR.
It's because you were crossfaded. And because drinks were 3 dollars. And because they accepted credit cards.
The cop told me to answer for everyone if there was drinking involved and then i threw up in my Luigi's italian ice that i was eating with a pizza slicer
Hahah fuuuck, bag pipers played around me while I threw up. Literally
FUCK YOU. AH. FUCK BOTH OF US MORE BOOZE.
MAS TEQUILA.
Even with having the shower running and music on everyone could hear the alcohol gods making me sacrifice my dignity and meals from the past week.
I'm giving you an age limit on the people you're allowed to hit on at steak n shake at 3 am. I can't see straight and I want a cheeseburger. You want dick. I'm sure we can't order at least one of those. But maybe.
He put those pics of him with those girls on facebook and tagged his wife in them
Tequila 1 marriage 0
Me too like the fact they didn't arrest me wants to send them an edible arrangement
...is this motivational speaking, or sexting? It's getting hard to tell.
i had a flashback to you roaring like a dying tiger and then throwing your wallet (maybe?) at the cat in the living room and saying "you're the only adult that lives here take all my money"
Randomize
