i think if you made a shrine it would be creepy
it sucked. he totally couldn't get it up. blamed it on never having cheated b4. Couldn't stop laughing. fuck.
you called me at 4 am to tell me you found the cracker barrel location where we'll have lunch next week
found POGS while I was cleaning my room this morning. Definitely bringing them back to school to turn into a drinking game.
I wish we could skip the pretense of being normal and just start drinking wine with breakfast
currently wearing a football players overly sized underwear. discovered a shot count on my leg. I'm a tank hahahhh
If this outfit doesn't get me pregnant tonight I don't know what will...
Handicvap rails on the toilet atre soooooo fuckin handy right nmow.
I just sit in the cubicle for 8 hours and do keagles.
So I stappled myself into my toga... that should be interesting getting out of later tonight...
I have straight up perfected the art of amazing manicures with shaky-as-fuck adderall hands. Also, I'm way too proud of this.
I may or may not have hooked up with the cop who arrested me.. Or I can cross hooking up with a stripper in a cop outfit off my bucket list.
Dude, I work in two hours. Unless you can find Chris Hemsworth and convince him to have a three-way with us, I'm not getting out of bed.
I'm so high right now that I winked back at a character in this TV show.
So I scratched the whole boyfriend plan and got wasted. Wanna try again tomorrow?
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