I just saw the girl you left with - Chris Hansen's looking for you
can we please move this conversation out of my vagina?
call of duty 2 was the straight man's twilight
Dude I'm drinking a martini out of a water bottle, I've become my parents.
My dad just passed me a joint.. this is a turning point in my life.
On the couch having a debate with the dog over whether eating anothr sweet roll will make the hangover better or worse
I already have one guy that I have regrettable sex with. I don't need another.
If you're wondering where your left shoe is you lost it in a bet with a homeless guy last night
I think I'm just going to up-end a bottle of wine and look through pictures of what my life used to be.
No, this place just freaks me out. Like I feel like ill get pregnant just being here. And all those pregnant bellies. It's weird.
Dicks are so weird. He has kind of a feminine comforter in the background.
Oh my god there are animals here. There are actusal animals trying to get him. A giraffe is trying to get in. A giraffee is trying to get in. Is ridiculouss.
I'm just a little concerned for your well being... and your penis too I suppose.
Good morning 7am walk of shame. It's been awhile.
I think I gotta smoke less weed, I'm getting to lazy to fuck my girlfriend
Randomize
