D3 body, D1 cock
Yeah, it was perfect until the end. Apparently women are super attracted to me until the sleeping with part.
My bad bro. I had no idea that when i suggested our triva team name be my last abortion tickled, that she would bring up cancun. Stay strong i think she really liked you
i think my mom watched the whole time
the nicest thing hes ever said to me is give me head.......please
my dealer just handed me my weed in a pink easter egg
I just asked the contractor building my house what it would cost to put a garbage disposal in all the shower drains...there was a lot of judging going on.
Its like the unofficial aniversary of the loss of her virginity. And I will be giving tours of the spot they did it in and showing how I'm serious when I say the grass doesn't grow there anymore.
She is just sitting by the bathroom like a little puppy waiting for a knight in shining armor to take her in there to fuck her. New low?
I just really need to get the matching flask to go with my pill box. Is this another step towards rock bottom?
I just saw a black chick with an eyepatch. This is a once in a lifetime opportunity.
I think I've been inadvertently participating in a contest to see how many times I can show up to work hungover in my first year of teaching. And I'm the only participant. Not sure if I'm winning or losing.
I was planning out a scrapbook to memorialize my affair.......and that's when it hit me, I don't make good choices. On the upside, the scrap book came out great and I am glad I saved all the gate passes from the airport.
I asked for a cup of water. They gave me tequila. They WANT ME TO DIE
I gave him a HANDJOB.
But then he finished from a handjob in under two minutes so who's really laughing?
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