I can't get into him, he looks really young. I'd feel like I was blowing the Gerber baby.
Assholes at mcdonalds drive through wouldn't serve us last night even though we said we were on small motorcycles that were to small for them to see and weren't heavy enough for the sensors. We made noises and everything.
I just found out that AAA will pick you up if you're drunk for free if you're a member. How did I not know about this?
if that dog is afraid of alcohol then he's no dog of mine
It's like playing clue with my own life. I have to piece together what I did, where I was, how I did it, and who I did it to
so I was at the house for 3min to grab my bathing suit & tequila. You know, the go-to weekend combination
At least I look tastefully trashed. My nipples are hidden and I'm standing up.
I think I'm still a little drunk from Sunday Funday and I just changed for a date in my car. wish me luck.
Whatever you do tomorrow don't let me put on the Borat mankini and yell "POLAR PLUNGE!!" while diving into the pool
The pool is covered.....
Like that would stop me.
He brought me four big burritos and two joints! He can sleep with his bank teller any time he wants!
Sooo a reasonable response to someone eating my lunch is to set the place on fire right?
I caught myself caressing my own hand while nurturing a glass of bourbon. I think it's time to get back out there.
He's the one named Andrew. In his profile picture he is the one on the right in the monkey costume.
There will be bowls smoken and not a single fuck will be given.
The sex would be better if it wasn’t interrupted because his home detention ankle monitor needed charging. At least I know he’s not cheating on me
Do you even hear yourself?
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