So how was he last night?
Five-minute foot-long.
let's just say, the carpet matched the drapes. in colour and length.
seriously this is one of those moments where im glad i dont really talk to or know the people i sleep with
Well said.
Who would we be if we didn't go out to drink during finals week? NOBODY
Horrible. I told her my girlfriend is in the hospital and she tried to give me a lapdance.
We dared each other to drink Arbor Mist, and I waterboarded someone with tequila.
Speaking of gay, some dude in a life vest just goes, we should pull our dicks out! To larry. Were leaving now. I saw penis
I don't know what was up he just kept sitting in his chair smoking weed and watching home movies all night it was weird as fuck.
You've thrown off my entire schedule. Usually SATURDAYS are my "try to hide the jizz on my leggings" days
This girl is wasted dancing to The Final Countdown. She's grinding on a guy who came to the bar in a track jacket and a wife beater
Sex obviously provides more sustenance than oatmeal.
So I don't know, I'm not a doctor, but I might be juggling dates with 3 different guys...
Woke up naked with a post-it that said "don't ask questions" on my ass...i know im not supposed to ask but uhm what did I do?
Uhm I have a bottle of tequila, a gallon of orange juice, and leggings. Now ask me again how hard im going? And that doesn't cover tomorrow.
Autocorrect changes "sex" to "sec". I have been so long without it my phone thinks I made a mistake.
Randomize
