Well all I remember is going to sleep being big spoon to you and waking up being little spoon to *****
I'm drunk at a fancy martini bar, wearing jeans, drinking cheap vodka that I brought in my purse. Got thrown out of court for using my cell phone. All in all calling Thursday a success.
Apparently he's never heard a queef, he totally thought I farted and got freaked out.
if I end up fighting someone to save $15 on a toaster oven then something went wrong earlier in life
so far i wrote 500 words for a paper on sean paul performing we be burnin..i can officially do anything on adderral
While my grandpa showed the family a slide show he accidentally included a topless photo of his new gf.
you used progresso chicken soup as a mixer last night
Does this sound normal?...She's ironing on pictures of her dead cat to all of her green clothes...
My lips are sealed. Both pairs.
At least she'll always have a story about the time she showed up to the emergency room drunk and covered in chocolate syrup on her birthday.
I'm pretty sure every guy I've been with this weekend has made a solid attempt at getting me pregnant...
Bathtub drinking tim. I have no pool so I work with what I have
i want to have awesome sex and feel fuzzy.
What's the best day of the week to potentially find out you're pregnant with your ex's baby?
I'm trying to behave my vagina this week so I can at least pretend I'm honoring the sanctity of marriage
Randomize
