I just walked by a ginger with a mullet. I repeat GINGER mullet. So help us God.
i just found a cheeto on my floor and ate it. i might still be drunk.
Vodka is such a love hate relationship.
Truer words have never been spoken.
and then he put stevie wonder on to fuck to...and hummed along as I blew him
Woke up today to the sound of church bells. My first thought was shit the apocalypse, but then I remembered my hook up lives next to a church. This might be a rough day.
Someone fucked up, the stop Kony day is on 4/20,
Most adult booty call ever. Ha. We got down to business and still got to watch the colbert report.
No. No. No. No one's allowed to fuck in the yurt.
If I ever go to Canada, I'm fucking the maple syrup out of his Canadian ass.
Still stoned. I like your bong. It can stay. No others, though.
In my opinion the party was fun, but i did A LOT of cocaine so my view was a little distorted......
We cuddled after till the morning. Then he woke up sober... and straight.
I'm to the point of desperation where I stare at customers penis imprints through their pants all day
I cannot belive our party caught on fire
BRIAN AND ANTHONY SPOON FED MY BROTHER MACARONI AND CHEESE WHILE HE WAS FUCKING ZARA. THEY WENT TO HIGHFIVE HIM AND ZARA WAS LIKE "WOO!" AND HIGHFIVED THEM FIRST
Randomize
