yo i stole a wine glass from the ritz but i spilled wine on my hundo dolla shirt
is it bad if my mug shot looks better than my profile picture?
going to class early so i have time to go on the moonbounce. this is why i go to art school.
I need a booty call who doesn't know my boyfriend or my friends.
Nothing says fuck you quite like putting your used condom in someones mailbox for them to find in the morning.
The freshman came home at 9 this morning with one heel, no pants, and a strangers sweatshirt covered in tequila-scented vomit. I think we're done corrupting her for a while.
Biggest lesson I have learned in college: Drink if you are happy. Drink more if you aren't.
Slipping me an edible before my ochem final was not your brightest idea. Looks like I'm switching to business.
this is why ugly people need low self esteem. it stops them from doing shit like this.
I paused mid sex to tell him I wished I'd taken up barrel racing so I could ride better.
I generally just try to vote by which candidate I think has the bigger dick. Sorry Romney.
& I just realized there is no vomit smiley. There needs to be a vomit smiley
I'm glad you had fun with your genitals.
It's a mix of hot dirty sex and week old bong water
Sometimes I feel like my vagina has a photographic memory of his penis. It sucks that he got engaged....
Randomize
