Played the LOTR drinking game last night. Ended up in boxers running thru the lot at ross's place screaming "for frodo"
so this was truly a case of the blacked out leading the blacked out.
I don't know what he sees in her. All I see are horrible pancake nipples
And the clouds opened up and the sex gods said I hate you alfalfa
What shirt can I wear out that says 'I may have a broken arm, but it's not the one I give handjobs with'?
Really?!? Does he think blocking me on FACEBOOK means that he doesn't have a kid with me?!
He can spot Burberry from half a bar away. He's not into vag
I was only out of town for 1 week. His cell records show he texted 63 ex-gfs and hookups while I was gone. And 10 condoms are missing.
Drunk yet?
Well I just did the worm on an empty dance floor while the bridesmaids were serving cake. You tell me.
Youre having a picnic
Yeah but all we have is vodka, so it's getting a bit out of hand.
This whole pope visit thing is ruining me having sex.
I still can't believe I was army crawling thru his backyard at 2am..
only you would understand that I was talking from the perspective of my boobs
All of a sudden he got that look on his face and ran to the dance floor and started fist pumping to Rihanna that kind of night
It was just a hint of nipple. I kept it classy!
Do you even hear yourself?
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