And then I'm going to yell into her vagina and see if it echoes
i almost got kicked out of the rave because i was trying to get in on some couple's makeout sessions
At what point in my life was I not hugged enough to be on my fourth walk of shame in half as many weeks?
I'm gonna make this happen. You think it would be too forward to text him my room number with turn by turn directions straight to my crotch?
Thank you for getting us into that car accident. I have had more guys hit on me than ever before because of my broken fingers.
what is the protocol for being hungover enough to vomit in a potted plant during my botany lecture?
Wtf man. I knew she was bad news. No sane person cares if you eat their raviolli.
We weren't even through customs yet, and we got offered weed. You would love Jamaica.
It's a noodle incident. All I can say is that it was completely accidental, no one was too seriously injured, and I'm not allowed back to that bar without a designated pusher for my wheelchair.
Dude you better come get your girl, she's sitting here eating a tub of pasta salad muttering to herself about gypsies.
Oh. So it is a cult
Basically. But a nice cult. They eat muffins and talk about fundraising.
All I'm saying is this is the exact reason I should not be left unsupervised.
I let a 30 year old guitar player that works at a call center go down on me in his backseat last night
Yeah I passed out. The last thing I remember is the lady telling me I couldn't play the clarinet with my nose.
you should just get a floor plan of your dorm and start checking off rooms.
Randomize
