Haym$ered
turn off your phone and go to bed
4 words: hood of his car
I want to poop on a bird, just to show them what it's like.
i have now learned nap means the same thing as sex in college
dude ... she has a full length mirror in her shower, don't even tell me shes not dtf
just gave him road head on the way home IN A SNOW STORM..good thing we didn't crash or I'd be dead. I DIDN'T HAVE MY SEATBELT ON
clearly you have your priorities straight
how come everytime i call mom shes doing tequila shots
He gave me his number and said the usual call whenever you need someone but then was like... or just call me.
You would pick up a guy in AA.
The liquor store manager told us to drink responsible as we checked out and we laughed to his face. Like we're buying karkov at noon, responsibility is out of the question
Is re-gifting a Valentine's Day present worse than re-gifting a Xmas one?
You're unbelievable, unbelievably awesome.
"He was so not worth staining my backseat for."
She helped me out of the car and i face planted into the snow.....and just stayed there and took like a 30 min nap.
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
I'm not sure if I should pay him or he should pay me, but someone should get paid for the sex I had this morning.
I was trying to type "I just want you naked" and it put "I just want you baked"
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