Is it weird for a girl to post pictures of her dildo no facebook?
its 9am. i just got home. spent 6 hours blowing him in a closet last night
She said I wasn't helping her abandonment issues by not responding to her texts at 4 am
So apparently the only parts of last night I remember didn't actually happen.. When did vodka become a hallucinogen?
I woke up and found a doughnut on our front porch. It's not sketchy though. More like a gift from the gods.
Using the random money I found in my bra from Halloween to pay to print my bio notes. I only brought a debit to the bar. College win.
I went full Overly Attached Girlfriend. You never go full OAG.
I know you're asleep, but I just had a motherfucking epiphany.
a guy offered me a piece of pizza if I'd make out with a random girl. We got the whole damn box and I ain't even mad
I just saw someone dressed as a bear leave your house on a motorcycle. I guess you guys are having a good time.
You've opened Pandora's butthole my friend. There's no going back.
I impressed him by taking off my panties without removing my pants.
Became friends with a girl at work today until I realized we have the same taste in men. And I thought only I liked red-bearded fat men
Quote of the night award goes to my father "I like wearing my swim trunks around the house because they are cooler and more blousy for my balls". Yay dad
He's making me do the dishes for the next month and half because I shit in the bath tub...
Randomize
