remember facepaint boy? turns out it stains. aaaand i have it all over my face and neck.
when im bored during the day i often think, what do people who dont get high do with their day.. i came to the conlcusion that everyone must be getting high
Ok so the guy below me is either having sex very loudly or is very lonely
Now there are nude photos of that bangin hot Russian spy chick...this is officially the best scandal ever.
Theres been so much buildup for our genitals to meet, one or both of us is sure to be disappointed.
It's kind of hard to say bye to you when you fall asleep on the bar..
I want to take my head off and cuddle with it
Maybe it will forgive me and stop being an asshole
He said you stopped mid-fuck, called fives on his dick, walked out to grab another drink, and came back.
Cute underage boy is in my house.
OH MY GOD. DON'T DO ANYTHING. WHY IS HE IN YOUR HOUSE.
You know it's going to be a good night when you're barking by 8:20.
All you had to say was "damn dude that looks fun, I miss ice fishing." But you sent a picture of poop. Classy
I'm happy in my shell. My shell which consists of keeping guys in the friend zone and me masturbating...
Got a minor my first day of college from the bike police. I'm gonna like it here
Can we start referring to attractive men as "A fine piece of dick?"
Nows a good time to tell him. Just be like "yeah, I used to bang her too and it didn't work out for us either". He'll understand.
Randomize
