i'm sleeping with myself tonight because i remember my name and i won't regret it in the morning. sorry.
can you take me to a tanning bed
sure, why though?
i have to go once so i can blame these herpes on the tanning bed and she won't get suspicious
What? Cold floors are soothing when you have a hangover. How am I supposed to pass that up. Even if I'm at my parents house
He gave Paula abdoul a run for her crazy
There are some college kids out at 4 in the morning dragging each other on a sled behind a bike. its too entertaining to call the cops
but then the words kidney pain and possible testicle shrinkage kept ringing in my head
Shots and making dong molds for my gf's friends. Typical Monday night activities.
Please warn me if you ever end up in porn, cause I don't want to stumble across that on accident, okay?
But seriously who drew a dick on a tortilla and nailed it to the door?
Apparently I offered the cop my Taco Bell.
Desperate times...
I would go disguised as someone he didn't have premature ejaculative sex with but I don't know if I could stay in character.
Sorry I had sex in your backseat while everyone was in the car
It's quite alright. I found his shorts in my backseat, not sure what he was wearing when we dropped him off
we went outside for a smoke and when we came back in you were ptfo on the floor holding the phone to your ear. Pizza pizza was on the line.
I got some blow and a hand job from one of the strippers. So I guess I'm getting over the divorce.
Get over here and bring your drill!!! The strippers next door need help installing a stripper pole by their pool
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