OK...I gotta go get strawberry short cake cakes and knee pads
I had a dream last night that you and me were eating cheesecake and according to my FATHER I was moaning really loud in my sleep. I seriously have issues.
After a certain blood-alcohol level, the dog is in charge.
So I'm seriously not complaining - but I just fell ass backwards into a Tuesday night threesome. Sober
How do I enter a double puke and rally into my calorie counter?
Sometimes I love sober logical me. She makes rare appearances but when she does she shines.
I hope your fat roommate breaks the bunkbed and crushes you in your sleep
If I have to go to the hospital, at least put my pants back on. It's been a fantastic night.
You had a hat of bras. Probably a good dozen, which is totally impressive for a Thirsty Thursday
I can't believe you didn't come out. There was a duckling ON THE BAR!
I woke up to him "wax on, wax off"-ing my boobs. I just reminded myself that I love him and let it happen.
Dude I puked in a snow bank and then fell face first into it
In hindsight, I probably should not have let the waiter give me a chiropractic adjustment on my neck last night.
you know you're in deep when you watch fear and loathing in las vegas and every damn scene is relatable.
This night could easily degenerate into a drunken haze of strippers and gambling, but I need a support network.
Randomize
