You know you think of me naked too
Not since I found Jesus
3.50 mugs at the bar.
Nah man, im with an ugly chick. Im waiting til everyone's drunk enough tonight, they don't notice.
How ugly, and does she have friends?
He wanted to take me out and said we could "go huntin in the woods."
I think we should urban dictionary "drive of shame." It involves a sprint to your car in his underwear and shirt, surreptitiously trying to put on your bra on at stoplights without attracting attention from neighboring cars, and lurking in your car a block from home so you can know when your roommate leaves for work.
I twisted my ankle last night doing a super high five with 3 inch heels on.
This guy behind me is answering all of her questions. I may give him a lapdance to take my next test for me
There's three frat guys comparing how you were in bed. apparently you have gotten worse with time
So this is where people who peaked in high school come to drink?
And then I cried about the Cubs for a half hour. If my dignity hadn't already been lost by that point in the night, it sure as hell was then.
My underwear are in the stairs so apparently I did take the dog out.
We did hand stand push-ups while beer bonging. Its now a thing
5% want to drink juice and feel better, 95% just want to touch your butt
He may be engaged to someone else, but god damn that was the best 3 hours I've ever spent naked with someone.
do you think there's enough of the fabric you gave me to make a crop top for a cat?
What shade of lipstick clearly states, I'm only attending this wedding for the drugs and groomsmen?
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