we had that weird still in bed morning after conversation. Her dad is the vp of my company.
She touched you, you're now contaminated for 48 hours. Please watch out for rashes, hives and STDs as she's known to have all three.
Just walk through the Honors dorm on a Saturday night. You'll feel better about yourself.
The theme is smores and alcohol. Dress appropriately.
There is a bottle of ciroc waiting graciously on my breakfast table. It's almost a sign for me to live up to my Russian blood.
Night is still young. Puking guts out part of it just began
And then we were riding the keg in the pool like an 8 second rodeo...naked.
Watched an eagle swoop down and eat a rabbit on my walk back from your place, literally too high to handle this right now
Can you technically cross something off your bucket list if you don't, per say, remember it....?
Only you could successfully troll for dick at a Hillel bake sale.
I have a knack for carnage and poetic language.
I'm glad you had fun with your genitals.
Blueberry probiotics greatly increase to the masturbation experience. Try it dude. It’s all the rage
THEY LEFT ME IN A CLUB BY MYSELF. I’M SO ANNOYED. I’M GOING TO FUCK THEIR BARTENDER FRIEND. Caps only because I’m really mad.
Apparently when you start crushing adderall and blending them into your margaritas calling them blenderalls you have "a problem" WTF
Randomize
