If hangovers were people John Goodman would be living in my skull trying to eat the back of my eyes
can we take a shower together?
no need for the romantic shit. I'm a sure thing
all we did was drink wine and talk about how people who dont have facebook dont exist.
can i drink enough to forget this semester even happened?
they said he just opened the front of his shirt and threw up alll over himself
I'm currently witnessing my drunk neighbor attempting to fold laundry on his front lawn. I think he's trying to spell out HELP.
Set off the fire alarm in our dorm at 2:30 am last night. 150 Naked people wrapped in towels shared a bag of popcorn with me as we watched the firefighters frantically search for my burnt popcorn in the building.
OMG THAT WAS YOU?!
He thought my hair would soak it up. I HAD TO CUT IT OFF.
I just dumped bong water and Bacardi out of my purse into the trash can. Everything in my purse is soaked. I hate Sundays.
You ninja crawled over five sleeping guys to get in my room at 6 in the morning to wake me up for sex
...and I think that may just be my favorite moment in our fuckbuddyship
I don't know what to think. Also, I decided to take a bath...sorry in advance if I flood the bathroom.
He was too drunk, and my mother and I ended up babysitting him. He told her I have amazing mouth skills, and that I love the "chorizo" he feeds me. All she said was "And on the list of 30 things you never want to hear about your daughter..." while gripping the steering wheel.Please just fucking kill me now.
His name was Kyle but I insisted on calling him baby Jesus all night and then we did a line and he bought me Taco Bell so idk
I was totally going to fuck him and then his friend walked in brushing his teeth, whipped down his pants and started doing the windmill. Ultimate cock block
so i went over to her house and we played crash bandicoot, ate calzones, and had sex all day. im in love.
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