Seriously dude, you need to stop beating off to the ellen show, it's just weird.
I plan on offering nudes to any guy that wants to give me notes from the past five weeks of class
You looked cold, so i decided to make you a blanket out of sticky notes.
i also performed surgery on a chicken burrito from what i can tell from my scissors
So "Abstinence August" was a bust. Maybe I'll try for "Sex-free September" or "Only if we're facebook official October"
Me and the guy at the liquor store are on a first name basis, college is all about networking.
Just got outta the drunk tank! Happy 21st birthday!
She just causally held my limp dick in her hand the entire movie. Her parents were cuddling on the couch too..that brave!
Pride is not for the college student young Padawan. Tequila is for the college student.
I'm gonna die. First I'm gonna throw up. But then I'm gonna die.
dude, i just found out morgan freeman loves weed. all my moms arguments are now irrelevant
I am at 99 matches in less than 24 hours, I need a tinder rehab program
I like your optimism Chelsea but I'm not about getting my salad tossed
it wasnt that bad
you tried to climb into my fireplace while screaming TO DIAGON ALLEY! we didnt even watch harry potter. it was bad
New one isn't as good asmy ex. She won't put her tongue up my butt
Peter this is your "ex"
I stand by what i said
Randomize
