Every time we have sex I can't stop thinking about Jesus
Actually, all he talks about is how great the sex is with her and how crappy you were at it. Stop being a bitch and gossiping masking it as self-righteousness.
I like one night stands...theyre like crushes for big kids
I don't care if he acts like a don't exist 6 days a week. On the 7th day he makes makes my vagina cry. In a good way. Jesus understands.
She washed lettuce and peppers in the shower and proceeded to make a salad
Well, I just watched him puke into his pitcher at the bar, I doubt he cares about anything other than the fact that he needs a new beer.
Using 'equal to a modern day cock block" in term paper, inappropriate
Lesbian sex in an alleyway drunk.
I want "hickeys on my ass" sex
Sunday is the day of rest.
As in, whatever liquor is left after last night, you have to drink the rest.
Woke up this morning naked, wrapped in a bath mat with a wad of singles on the table. I'm calling it a win.
I'm not into beards but apparently my vagina is.
Screaming "dámelo" at the bottle of scotch was definitely my best and worst moment of Cinco de Mayo 2015.
you said something about joining a k-pop band before passing out topless on the trampoline.
Never again will I go to my mom's side of the family's parties. After the bride and groom cut the head off the roasted pig together they boarded their RV and rode off into the sunset.
Randomize
