I think we should urban dictionary "drive of shame." It involves a sprint to your car in his underwear and shirt, surreptitiously trying to put on your bra on at stoplights without attracting attention from neighboring cars, and lurking in your car a block from home so you can know when your roommate leaves for work.
My mom found a condom in my purse
Correction: my mom found a used condom in my purse.
i should write a book entitled 'the joys of being sexually objectified'
ol I'll be okay, it's only a christmas party so the worst that could happen is I end up playing madden naked again
he just started chanting dark meat! dark meat! out of no where.
He leaned in to kiss me and I dodged him but i fell on the floor. I guess I never got up cuz I woke up on the floor and he was in his bed
I was riding her and she yelled "fuck me" then someone in the room next door yelled "you don't have to say it if youre doing it."
The pool of urine in the trash can signifies both a regretful yet successful night.
I woke up this morning with a tampon in my nose and food EVERYWHERE...
Lesson learned. No more vodka and toaster strudel
i woke up this morning put my hand under the pillow and there was a banana there
I'm definitely single now but she stole my mailbox
My favorite part was when you kept telling everyone you were being "green" by drinking straight out of the bottle so u weren't wasting a cup.
I woke up with my converse still on and a plate of pasta next to my face, if that gives you any indication of how my night went
I've got a tequila scented hand sanitizer for you.
you're the best roommate i could ever have.
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