i like that octo mom she is my favorite xmen
turns out Discover card thinks that if you spend $450 at four different liquor stores in one evening that the card "must have been stolen"
you threw your tampon into someones open car window...while they were driving.
I submitted an essay to my history teacher comparing changes in the middle ages to the song changes by David Bowie. I can't wait to see my grade on that.
Just found a dugout in my rental car glove box. Suddenly my mood is upbeat.
being alone eating nachos and drinking from a giant munchen beermug really isnt that sad
bitch got booty called while we were making out. and then she actually left.
pretty sure if my vagina had a mouth, it would have been smiling afterwards.
getting up at 8am to start drinking seemed like a much better idea before I had to wake up at 8am
WE COULD TOTALLY DO ECSTASY AND GO TO THAT CAT SHELTER OFF OF BROADWAY.
Please tell me last night did not happen and there is another reason why my phone smells like ranch sauce ahahah
Go forth my little lesbian, get your gayme on
A gay guy went down on me in the club bathroom and then fixed my makeup for me
its gonna be a great night
Did I send you a naked snap the other day with a fat blunt in my mouth with the caption "$1200 bitches!" ?
What happened last night? I just woke up and there's like 15 mcflurry cups on the floor
You don't remember stealing them?
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