everytime someone famous vagina shows up in pics, i have to go check my own vagina to make sure mine dont look all wrinkledy and flabby like that....i want my lips plump and succulent
I'm just that much of a man that I can watch Ellen and Oprah back to back and still like girls.
I'm at a crab and wine festival with my dad. He just introduced me as his girlfriend to all of his co-workers. I am so drunk I thought he was serious.
did you ever find your cell phone? and your dignity?
please tell me that the half empty jar of cocktail sauce on the table has nothing to do with my missing seamonkeys
It's just like the Real World with babies
$1.99 mimosas n bloodys til 3. Happy hour starts at 4. We're gonna ride the mechanical bull to kill the hour inbetween.
Please take video.
I'm not sure which is more depressing, the fact that the hospital is making me put together a living will before surgery, or that all i'll be leaving behind is 25k in student loan debt
My time here is complete. I think I have now thrown up in every major degree programs building
I snorted a few ambien and woke up here. A lady banged on our door, waking us up, demanding our towels.
Do you think if 10 year old us knew that we would be passing out in a McDonalds after a hefty night of drinking, and 23 McChickens, they'd change anything?
I know it was a good night because I got a lecture from my roommates mom about stranger danger
He came over and watched the USA game with me, fucked me so good my toe cramped, then made my bed this morning before he left. Thank God for Army rangers
Bacardi 151 is like a past nightmare I'm still curious about
He was publicly touching my boobs before I even knew he's a famous World Cup skier.... That's how hot he was
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