The mall is playing a fucking country mix of lady marmalade.
welcome to maine.
you didnt have any toilet paper so I just took a shower
Dating a girl 4 years younger than you is like living in a Taylor Swift song...
I love you. And by the way. I found out a way for you to train your gag reflex. Elliot taught us in math.
How the hell can the Olympic committee frown so much on weed and yet put on a show you would have to be high to actually enjoy?
other girls like to lick balls but none of them live for it like u do
I just ate four packages of Swiss Rolls. Being high and on food stamps is AHmazing.
i'm sitting in class and looking at who would die if all the fans suddenly fell from the ceiling. i guess i have next year to pass history..
i was talking to them for like 5 mins and they were like HEY LETS GET A PICTURE and tequila said it was good idea
side note: on a scale of 1-10, how bad an idea is it to hook up with 9 cats guy?
You've opened Pandora's butthole my friend. There's no going back.
He just turned down phone sex for hockey and I'm so relieved I'm fucking a straight guy that I'm barely even mad
He woke up from being passed out on the couch mumbled something that sounded like "Taco" then proceeded to the bathroom only to pass out again, I think we need to learn how to party like him!
Woke up in my boxers on a subway with a phone number written on my arm in lipstick..Best Night EVER.
Tomorrow I'm going to tape my thumbs to my palms and my biceps to my abdomen to learn what it's like to be a t-rex for a day. Anyone else in?
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