Her body is shaped like a coke bottle...a two liter coke bottle
I just saw grafitti that read "Mug The Fart Eater". Really, Memphis? That's all you've got?
and pubic hair rears its ugly head again
they ran out of cups so I just drank out of a cowbell.
Every night before bed, when I used to say prayers, now I just think to myself 'freshman sluts. Soon'
You told the bartender you needed 2 beers, and a shot of his cum...
No you are right. With a nickname like Monster Cock, you shouldn't expect him to want to "just talk". I'd be insulted too
You should get a handy in the street again, just to prove you've still got it.
Just ordered an appetizer sampler to distract the fat chicks so we can escape
Lost another pound. Switching from beer to hard liquor did this body good.
she kept yelling about wanting tacos, so I gave her a piece of bologna in a tortilla. she didn't know the difference
She's "threw gas on the fire to put it out" drunk. Come retrieve ur gf. Ps she smells like burnt hair
I didn't notice because vodka
what a fun peer-pressure-filled weekend
When we sit on the couch watching TV, she always cups her hand around my balls. Not sure if it's a sign of affection or a "power play" to remind me just how vulnerable I am if she chooses to make an aggressive squeeze.
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