you can still come hang out if you want
I really don't feel like watching you play video games
2:45a: Any chance you got 3000 bucks on you?
So after tequila Thursday, Jess broke her arm table dancing. Now her and Andrew look like the perfect drunk couple, matching casts and all.
I could've eaten a live cat and wouldn't remember it today. That level of drunk.
I don't know what's more sad. The fact that I'm genuinely impressed about being sober for a whole 3 days or the fact that I want to get wasted in celebration.
I need to reevaluate. My boss gave me drug money. I overslept on my couch. And I had my student teacher go to McDonald's and get an egg mcmuffin for me.
You threw up in your own shoe then wore it home
just so you know.. snorkeling hungover: great decision. I was throwing up and he couldn't even tell!
We climaxed at the same time during ain't no mountain high enough. Does it get more cheesy or domestic for a non relationship?
Of course, you have to give the courtesy text like last night when I told you my dick was gonna smell like peppermint
COME HERE AND I WILL SUCK YOUR COCK UNDER THE LIGHT OF THIS BEAUTIFUL ELECTRICITY
First Peyton Manning retires, and now the most interesting man in the world is retiring for Dos Equis. This is the worst week of my fucking life.
danced like there was no tomorrow. surprise. there's a tomorrow
I was about to break it off with him because I realised he only wanted me for sex, until I realised that I only wanted HIM for sex. Win/win
hey sorry i didnt call i just got out of jail, so you still dtf ?
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