I walked up to her and said hello and wanted to ask her if she had fun last night... she asked me if we had met before.
I accidentally threw away from slim jim and some lady saw me dig it out of the garbage. It was unopened but still, I look so homeless.
I showed him my bush... on skype.
Should I feel badly because I just bought a really hot pregnant girl a drink after I lit her cigarette?
dudes here are drinking wine, and not in the forgivable 'just doing this to get laid' way
Just found out the guy that gave me herpes died. now everytime I get a flare up, it'll be like he's coming back to say hello
I think all I remember saying is, "I love Chris Berman's voice" and then I passed out
Don't know how I even got in. I pulled my id out and threw it at the bouncer, and he just picked it up, checked it, and let me in.
The question is do I invite my fuck buddy to my graduation party now that my girfriend found out about her?
There's going to be a pool, lightsabers and alcohol. What could go wrong?!
yea i really dont care about the sex, i just want him to eat my vag. He has to be good at because of his tremors.
What kind of gift says "I'm sorry you accidentally stuck your hands in my puke (even though you should know better by now)"?
I was grossed out that all their candles smelled like vagina and then I remembered where my fingers had been.
I think you are severely overestimating being able to get your lingerie back by posting the lyrics of Irreplaceable
He drunk texted me what I think is two snails fucking on a mushroom. Is "you sick bastard" too mild a rejection?
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