would it be rude to tell a homeless man that he should sell the lebron jersey and brand new nikes he's wearing if he's really that hungry
The reason halloween exists is because it's not cheating if you're wearing a costume.
You drew a self portrait of yourself on his wall with sharpie.
Still waiting. He said he'd call between 2 and 10... apparently he's like the Comcast of drug dealers.
bikini waxes are so much more painful when you know you're not getting laid
My boss just told me not to come back to work if I decide to drink. Challenge accepted.
he told me i could have the honorable privilege of being the second girl to have sex with him in his new apartment, what a gentleman.
I think I'm goin to jail but either way I had a blast.
So, just in case you go to the bathroom in the middle of the night.. Sam is asleep in the first stall.
Imagine cans of beer raining. Like not hitting you and hurting you. Just gently falling into your hand whenever you're sad
TOPLESS DRIVE THRU! I have no money and my dignity is at an all time low.
he fucked me wearing a cowboy hat and made grits after
We call him Texas for a reason.
I know it's just really hard to give up sex and cigs during a blizzard
Parade of Dicks...that's what I'm calling 2017
I've been eaten out in coupes, sedans, trucks, suv's, you name it. If I can do it in a smart car, you can do it in a vw beetle.
I knew you were the expert on doing it in public. You need to get paid for your advise
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