Should I be offended if he asked if he could use saran wrap to eat me out?
I'm currently imdbing Helena Bonham Carter to see if there are any pictures of her that don't scare the crap out of me.
Good luck with that.
last night he was wasted watching Entourage and changed everyone in his phone book to LLOYD!!!!
it can't be normal that my body odor smells like fries
we got so high we spray painted his girlfriend's UGG boots. she's CRYING. it's hysterical.
is cock-oriented a word? I'd say I'm that lately.
I gotta shower this stuff off me I'm starting to hear baby kittens in the toilet tank again..
She said we "made love." I had to explain to her that when both parties agree that the first time time they have sex both people agree to video tape the whole thing its not "making love" but more like random good time fun sex.
Decided in my tanked state last night purchase 2 weeks worth of xanax, so I can guess my way thru this week and finals. Soberly, I decided it would be a great way to test my knowledge of finance.
Just saw the trailer for Spike Lee's version of Oldboy. They filmed a lot of it in A's building so like every scene features a place where I had or almost had sex. If oral counts then pretty much every scene.
The amount of effort it's taking me to not shit my pants this morning is probably a sign to slow down the drinking
Man I sound like a slutty Mormon
This is like a walk of shame down memory lane.
I dunno what to tell you sport. Short of having a shock collar on, you're gonna wanna hook up with people.
My FIANCE just told me he thought you were the prettiest out of all my friends YOU WHORE
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