When we were fucking i started barking and growling at her.. you shoulda seen her face
I wonder if u can grow weed on Framville and sell it to Mafia Wars?
I like to think that tonight was Jesus punishing James Cameron for his role in popularizing "My Heart Will Go On."
He would stand there for a few seconds with a blank look on his face then randomly start running full sprint towards macdonalds. We'd catch him and he'd promise to stop so we'd let him go and he'd do it again.
No, pictures of your dick will not make me feel better about my grandmother having a brain tumor.
Hundreds of bug bites..Dad jokingly says "looks like you passed out naked in the woods somewhere"
Did you get an erection too during Paul Ryan's speech?
I thought this guy walking back to the dorms with his black laundry bag was walking a black flamingo I'm not even kidding I had to take a break on a bench after that.
You're my favorite person
the reason i can drink whatever i want and you have a limit is because whiskey will never make my pussy not work
Didn't get carded at the bar. We're getting wasted and then walking over to Bass Pro Shops to watch the indoor ducks swim around. And possibly buying a tent.
Stuck in the Minneapolis airport for 3 hours with an expense budget and a wine bar. This could get out of hand quickly.
Let's celebrate our freedom by getting high and doing stupid shit.
Don't judge me. It's a Monday night and I can eat burritos in while bathing in the kitchen sink if I want to.
i have two papers due tomorrow. contemplating if i should take adderall in my anus for full effects
My house exploded and with it all my pot went up in smoke.
Randomize
