She had a bottle of NAIR in her bathroom, but she clearly hadn't been using it.
So she is eating her margarita with tortilla chips....like using her chip as a spoon
Can the rest of this semester just go by as a montage?
just a heads up, there may or may not be a mailbox full of the leftover beer on the table in your basement.
FYI, when you wake up, please note that I puked in your shoes because I sstubbed my tooee, not becus I was drunk.
Apparently blazed enough to think that the sizzling meatballs in the pan were calling your name...Ssssteeeeeve
I woke up this morning with a wristband and I thought I went to the hospital last night I actually went ice skating instead
One time she made a chronological chart for the guys she has given blow jobs to, I shit you not.
Last night I passed a kidney stone as I came inside her. Worst. Experience. Ever.
Hey, I told her the bathroom was a "No fly zone" after I used it. She willingly allowed her nose to go through that pain. It's her fault, she only supplied me with vodka when she knows I only drink rum.
considering I just took 3 shots of fireball I don't think I'm coming back tonight. also the hulk just walked in crushing beer cans on his forehead
We banged in my car doggy style with my head out the window. The sky was marvelous and I saw a shooting star. Its destiny; we're meant to fuck forever.
How far are you from my house? Do I have time to masturbate before you get here?
I need to hurry up and get over my feelings for him so next year's tipsy reunion sex won't be clouded by emotions.
Also I know now I was meant to be a comedian. Had both arresting officers laughing.
Randomize
