And no, shaving doesn't make it look bigger, either
He's coming over tonight...I really wish I didn't have my period right now...
I believe I'm witnessing the first time ever that you wished your period would NOT come....
His bond is $50,000..margarita Monday might get cancelled
I'm okay.. I had a good heart to heart with the cab driver Raheem - it's going to be our year.
I can't see straight with both eyes and ive only been at the bar for an hour. Someone else typed this for me.
I poured myself a glass of chocolate chips at some point during the evening.
The gay viking and his eqyptian 'queen' hooked up on our couches. They pushed them together to make a bed. Innovative, but awkward to come home from work to at 7 am.
It's fucking New Year's. I can be soberish in 2013 after tonight. It's like the 30 years of grey area between Jesus' birth and death.
Guess what I signed up for?!?!?!
Please tell me you're not selling your eggs.
I think I used my hospital ID to cut the coke last night. I need to swab it for residue at work today.
WELP I KNOW THE HAPPY HOUR DRINKS WERE GOOD BECAUSE MOM JUST INFORMED ME I AM THE RESULT OF POKED HOLE IN THE DIAPHRAGM
All boys are excommunicated from my vagina until further notice.
The beauty of getting kicked out of college again is I can fuck my professor's brains out and she can't get fired now
I'm just happy stripping was the reason you fractured your hand
Btw you guys passed out eating DP dough and watching Pocahontas... on a monday
it was stoner heaven..
Randomize
