Bro can a girl get pregnant if i jizz in her mouth?
hahahahahahahahahahaha
this guy literally just gave me a gold star sticker for the "stellar" blow job i gave him. ashamed? i think not.
you yelled then hung up at the girl on information bc she could not pinpoint your location and tell you how to get to dennys
I'm sitting in the middle of them on his bed, forcing them to watch Brokeback Mountain. I am the best cock blocker ever.
She's making tacos & sangria tonight. I'm sure that's how the pilgrims pregamed.
his roommates said i can move in if i promise to only drink tequila the rest of the semester. challenge accepted.
I think I actually have rug burn on my eye.
Last awkward moment of 2011: your ex gf grinding on me in front of her husband.
SEXX, SEXX, SEXX,SEXX,SEX SEX SEXXXXXXX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEXSEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEX.\nimagine that to the can can song. also come to my house. theres a dance routine.
Competitive oral. I'm always telling girls they are only the fourth, maybe third, best blowjob I've had. They go back down with something to prove.
I'm eating your cookies as payment for having to listen to you. Happy sex
This guy is like Don Jon! Im over here this weekend and at least four times I've heard porn on his phone thru the bathroom door.
We were having a serious discussion about Blue's Clues and I just kept thinking, 'you've seen me naked'.
I was just wicked nice to a telemarketer... that's how stoned this woman got me.
I just came rly close to telling a dude that I want to chew on him and there should be an oil painting of his ass up in the louvre before I realized that isn't how flirting is supposed to go
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