I'm drunk in f*****g wisconsin and want to kill myself.
If it's any consolation, be grateful that you're not in New Jersey.
Is it bad that I voted for Scott Brown because I want to fuck him?
Nah. I did too.
I found the pot of gold last night, and it was full of bad decisions.
woke up in a garbage bag. literally. it was used as a sleeping bag.
no jill really. Evrything around me is talking to me. The plant, my dog, the tv,the lamp. Its amazing.
She asked the taxi driver to stop at the Texaco because she had to puke. She did then stumbled into the gas station and bought a 40.
Go big or go home. Or get a live in house boy you met 7 years ago and feel like you have unfullfilled potential. You know, the usual
guy next to me on the train just pulled out two bottles of gin and a block of cheddar. is slowly making his way through all of them.
I believe in weed hangovers. To say the least.
You woke up, mumbled something about forgetting to lock the truck at work, slapped my ass, then passed out again...
His dog ate the vibrator. The WHOLE vibrator. We spend the morning after trying to make it vomit up the battery. Why does this always happen to me?
I didn't realize how much I relied on you for a reason to drink on tuesday
You’re sleeping on my couch so you’re not making dick appointments tonight
Truth. Though I have held steadfast to the notion while the rest of you wavered. I had faith in his homosexuality.
Jenna is yelling bc of the condom wrappers and cum stains. This is the 3rd and last time you have sex in my roommates bed.
Randomize
