I just peed in my kitchenbs sinlk. New low- maybe. am i embarrassed? Not in the least
You gave me the wrong number last night so I texted someone else something I definitely shouldn't have.
you definitely held a convo with a hobo
we have a secret handshake
I woke up to a text that said "You're a fucking asshole" Why is she so pissed at me?
Im guessing it has something to do with running up to her boyfriend screaming "THIS IS SPARTA" and kicking him in the balls.
Is that considered a cock block?
I feel like none of my dresses scream slut the way I'd like them to
BIGGER SANDWIJH COME NIW OR DIE
you kept telling us that in dog beers you only had one
He probably tastes like german chocolate and coffee beans
Seriously though, my ovaries are trying to crawl out of my body and into his pants.
There is a drunken, assless white chick here at this bar wearing a shirt that says "REAL WOMEN TWERK FOR JESUS". I have officially had it with our generation.
So, I never imagined myself puking on the side of the road at 10:30 this morning to Lynyrd Skynyrd but here I am.
I would ride that face into the sunset
That awkward moment when you hear your boss yelling during sex while you're on her couch eating Easy Mac.
My mom's yelling at me for being a whore and my dad's quizzing me on how to drive in winter weather....I'm home!
You stumbled into the hotel room escorted by security and then went into the bathroom sat by the toilet, threw up for hours while slamming your head on the wall and whimpering "why" over and over.. I went to bed
Your parents are gone and we haven't fucked in their bed... why?
Randomize
