Wanted to apologize for chris browning you when you were on my computer.
wouldve been great, if we lived in constant slow motion cause that shit lasted 30 seconds and half the time he was putting on the condom
You only like me because I'm a challenge
You already blew me
It's hard to believe so much cum came out of such a small penis.
Received world's greatest BJ while in a planetarium. Was seeing stars while seeing stars.
no i brought the cat to the bar. I got a weird look when I walked in but now everyone loves her.
Idk if you remember me telling you about him, but I gave him a hj under the stars. Kind of added a little disney aspect to the whole experience.
As far as figuring life out your talking to a guy that's alternating text messages between his baby mama and a drunk bitch I met tailgating. My best advice is don't worry about shit out of your control and always and I really mean ALWAYS wear a condom.
I broke up with him in the bar & then asked him if he wanted to have a contest to see who gets the most numbers. I say I took that break up well
Can I also remind you that we insisted on touching his mustache?
Well of course I remember it took up like 20 minutes of my night.
I'm bored enough im considering taking up his offer to turn me straight just to kill time until the lasagna is out of the oven
HE STARTED HUMMING THE THEME TO STAR WARS!! WHILE I'M SUCKING HIS DICK!!
You FaceTimed me at three in the morning while you were peeing. Your eyes were glazed over and you showed me your bellybutton.
my drug dealer is also my eyebrow lady. Two birds, one stone.
she said that no one there was hot enough for her so she then proceeded to give the passed out person a lap dance because he was "her type."
Randomize
