Bullshit. I know you're watching The Dog Whisperer
That Cesar Milan is captivating
the taste of these tagalongs is totally worth boning that creepy troop leader chick...
I wish I could tell you that the worst thing that happened last night was how he got thrown out of a stripclub for vomitting on the girl giving him a private lapdance. I wish I could tell you that and not be lying.
My ex best friend's ex fuck buddy is visiting. There was no other option but day drinking.
we couldn't find any funnels so we taped a spaghetti strainer to a pool noodle and it worked fairly well
Hey, i turned the toilet into a water fountain. Drink up.
I took shrooms last night.. For a good half hour I genuinely believed I was black and being held captive by a leaf. Never again.
I am compiling a playlist that reminds me of all my best sexual encounters. It shall be called THE MUSIC OF MY VAGINA'S PEOPLE
WHAT IS PROPER BONG ETIQUETTE FOR WHEN YOU'RE ALONE IN YOUR BATHTUB AND CRYING?
Please send me a thumbs up pic afterwards. No homo. After you've redressed and are heading for the walk of shame out of course
I just watched in amazement as you had a full conversation about water temperature and bacteria with your pet goldfish.
she had a dildo shaped like a dolphin. she will forever be known as Flipper
My face feels like a midget just gave birth to quintuplets
first he passed out on the toilet...then hugged it and screamed no no no as i tried to pull him out
imagine the bill from school house rock beating the shit outta you
Randomize
