Cops are here now. U need to come back. Ur not under arrest. But u need to apologize to the woman for what you did to her cat.
he told me it was because of the roids, but i couldn't tell if he meant ster or hem.
Laughlin, where retired strippers come to die.
Yes, you did come over last night. You also tried to give my dog a blowjob. You got rejected.
and then he proceeded to take what he called, a whip cream shower.
I recommend just blowing him. It's always the way to go.
So "Abstinence August" was a bust. Maybe I'll try for "Sex-free September" or "Only if we're facebook official October"
i figure now that we're number one party school im obligated to black out at least 4 days a week. andddd go.
The only thing you accomplished yesterday was dry humping me on the floor of my work place WHILE I was working.
I'm smoking a bowl with matches and a candle while my mother washes dishes downstairs. I thought adulthood was supposed to be different.
I'm scared to touch anything in this apartment. Even the ceiling.
He sent me a slow motion video of him jerking off...it was so long (the video not his dick) even I felt awkward watching it alone
The three of us were sitting silently in my dining room at 4:30 am, half drunk, eating cold spaghetti and listining to death metal. I need a fucking cigarette.
all the one night stand stories i have end with me crying on my RA's floor stuffing cupcakes into my mouth
Vacuum the place before you go out of town there are random glitter cocks everywhere
Randomize
