After he proceded to violently molest my tits until 9 am i snuck out of his room only to meet his mother downstairs, who informed me she heard the giant sexfest going on in the room next to them.. this was before she called us both "chickenshits".. worst walk of shame ever.
"tonights gonna be a goodnight" was blasting at the club while i was screaming "NO ITS NOT" and crying. How do you think it went?
The Rock is playing the tooth fairy. I can't believe I used to smell what that man was cooking
heading to class now, facing the weekend consquences
You guys seriously fuck to bieber? That's embarrassing...
He gave me a promise ring. He promised that he will imagine me as every girl he fucks in college.
For the record it's 1026 and you told me I could leave you in the bathroom.
You probably don't remember this but last night I bought you a lap dance from a stripper that had nipples that looked like runny eggs....you're welcome.
I slept with him because his girlfriend should know better than to be with him given is reputation. It was like sex and a lesson all in one.
Here's how he asked the pregnant girl for a cigarette. Hey yo prego throw me a square. Not joking.
I told her to to let go of her rationtal thoughts and just enjoy the fact that i was going down on her till she passed out from sheer orgasmic pleasure.
pray to the hookup gods
His balls will have been in my mouth at least once by this time tomorrow.
I feel I should send an apology letter to my anesthesiologist.
Her tits are so fantastic they gave him a panic attack.
Randomize
