In retrospect, it was a terrible idea, going down on her with these ulcers in my mouth.
So my professor just changed my Final to 7:45am on May 6th. Shouldn't a Spanish professor understand the implications of Cinco de Mayo???
I might not be able to enter cuba but that doesn't mean that a cuban can't enter me
I knew his night was already over when he started marking lines on the bottle and setting goals
I ran a string through all of my old vicodin bottles and strung them on the tree. Tis the season.
I don't remember anything but yelling at the ref in Spanish.
just let her blow you already, it's practically animal cruelty at this point.
$100 bras are my way of telling my boobs that I love and appreciate them, and all the metaphorical doors they have opened for me.
I invited you and you fucked me in the face with the penis of disappointment and shit.
Vaguely remember? You pushed George and two other fellas out the way to hug me, screamed gandalf before chugging your beer and smashing the bottle on the floor. I lolled.
Aside from the possibility of pregnancy, I'm going to call last night a raging success.
Can I come by? I want you to meet my squirrel
Dude, half of south Mississippi has seen my taint. I'm not worried.
Cant get off the floor. Need more beer. Send help.
My trash can is full of used condoms and girl scout cookie boxes.
Randomize
