If Ritalin and Plan B had an illegitimate child it would smell like me.
when im bored during the day i often think, what do people who dont get high do with their day.. i came to the conlcusion that everyone must be getting high
you made cement angels. it was a great sight.
small problem..I have a major exam in the morning so I might have to go to the library after the party
so no drinking for you?
don't be silly
The dean held back my hair as I was puking after graduation. That means so much more than a diploma and a handshake.
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i loe djcudia fjxos rue.
It's the eternal vodka... it never seems to go away
I hope your perfect outfit is a slutty power rangers outfit. That's been my dream wedding since I was a kid.
Setting up an obstacle course with ladders, hurdles, and a spring board to the pool. you down for drunk races through it later?
I wonder what chicks would think if they learned that when we add them on fb we email their bikini pics to each other.
so hungover. I'm actually considering eating the snow off the roof so I don't have to leave my bed
I think your dad took our porno
I signed the divorce papers. Can I get a blowjob now?
For 15 minutes straight, he literally did every accent there was, from Russian to Bostonian. The issue: no one could determine whether he was sober, wasted, or anywhere in between
I twisted my ankle while drunkenly playing in my adult kickball league. Now I'm having to use my grandpa's cane to walk at this party. I am so single.
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