My sheets look like a crime scene.
I think east. Tornado watch. What the fuck are you doing in Texarkana?
Bonnaroo. Tornado watch? Expand on that thought.
Watch for tornadoes.
He kept asking me to take off my bra and I sat up so he could. He fumbled with it for a few minutes and when I sighed and went to undo it he goes, "Yeah, you got this."
you made cement angels. it was a great sight.
i would rather give Shaq a handjob than take this accounting final
I wish the health center treadmills counted beers burned not calories
my boss made my mugshot into an 'employee of the month' poster.
Being the only woman in a triathlon group - it's a penis paradise.
I'm thinking blowjobs and wheelchair sex should be part of any post-injury wellness plan.
He used the panoramic camera on his iPhone to take a picture of his dick. And it actually filled it. Pretty sure I just came.
It took years to build this empire of casual fuckings and not carings.
He said I was doing well, so I stopped mid blow job to compliment his grammar. You could say I like intellectuals
Steve, that episode of cops where your dealer rear-ended that family is on again.
We went the strip club and out of no where the waitress brings him over a quesadilla and a jäger bomb and says your usual!! He swore he had never been there before
It's a lube slip n slide down the hallway now. Details later.
Randomize
