Yes give me all the cream and he's gone
No, veal is cruel because they chain them down, I'm talking about free range human babys here.
You were in the corner dancing by yourself yelling "I look good", when really you looked ridiculous and drunk
part of it is the fact that im problem drinking, and the other part is my OCD wont let me leave the bottle half-empty.
I'm surrounded by too many unhungover people.
she has an amazing ass but I need more beers to get past her horse face. It works out perfect becauseI can use her teeth as a bottle opener.
DO NOT EAT ONE OF DONOVANS WEED RICE CRISPIES. I REPEAT DO NOT EAT IF YOU VALUE YOUR EYE BALLS
Hey will pizza rolls help if you accidentally get a diabetic chihuahua drunk?
My attorney has my name in her roldex as need to hit that. Im gonna win my case
At what point did you realize I was getting blown under the table during our dominos game?
He didn't even realize I was drunk. He probably just thought I loved Torchwood so much that I no longer knew how to use my thumbs
he yelled at me like a drill sergeant while I quickly tried to take off my pants
Why would you get kicked out?
Well, an overweight man is currently not wearing a shirt. Or pants. And is getting in touch with his inner Chippendale. You can probably fill in the blanks.
I guess it's part of life. Sometimes your ex boyfriend becomes a drag queen.
Found this cake smashed up inside a box on the sidewalk. Im saying yes to adventure and eating some.
Taking a nap. Sidewalk cake kicked my ass. It had boston creme filling!
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