I just saw some girl with the liscense plate "OBVIII"...I never wanted to get in a car accident so badly.
So I've officially decided that I AM that drunken mistake that girls hate themselves for in the morning.
Plus I'm pretty sure you said "love you" on the phone, so technically I should be putting you on some type of probation
BABIES FOR EVERYONE. I'd be like Oprah except with babies
We woke up at 7:30am. We got a 30 rack, yelled at all the freshman shackers walkin back to their dorms, played a game of beer die, and boned all before 11:00am. I found my soulmate
i had a tequila and emotion induced one night stand with a random stranger. senior year: infinity me: 0.
I'm so confused as to where the sexual euphemisms end and the drinking starts
I asked her why she was drunkenly masturbating to Iron Man and all she replied was "Robert Downey Jr". As far as excuses go, that seemed pretty legit.
Nope I went the fuck home like an adult
Don't worry, I'm taking the best gay radar in the World, my sister's boobs. All guy who is not looking at them, it's fair play for us.
Was expecting a sext from Kristi and then my mom randomly sent me a pic of her ugly Xmas sweater. Worst. Buzzkill. Ever.
Was the guy in the cowboy hat kinda hot or have I just not had sex in a really long time?
I haven't gotten dressed in 4 days. God bless you, unemployment.
We gotta locate my vibrators and get them stashed away STAT
I am playing in the snow in my bunny outfit. GET OVER HERE
Randomize
