What are you talking about? And how drunk are you?
Both
I don't know which is more embarrassing, the fact that I shat on the floor today or that I told you about it.
The drink u got me is pineapple something w. Cigarete ashes in it.ima drink it anyway
you know you've been in a long relationship when u start retiring sex toys
you would think someone who fights for his country could fight to last longer than 2 minutes
even if everyone didnt know them screaming eskimo brothers and high fiveing over my head kinda gave it away
College is just filling the gap until I get a rich girl pregnant
If we could never, ever tell mike i pissed in his closet, that would be really really great
They play video games, go on acid trips, and in times of need, are willing to donate plasma together. COUPLE OF THE YEAR.
I NEED to see if his girl has a sister.
We hooked up. It felt slightly wrong considering he is my foreign exchange student but there's a reason America imports. Foreigners got the goods.
Whatever dude, just dont tell her your first impression was she looked like your cousin. no judgement here. just sayin.
You got me so high that I almost couldn't leave my house for a bar because there was nothing to lean against on the way there
Handcuffs are allowed in carry on luggage :) just checked
She showed me her tits outside Taco Bell....After she flashed the dude working there in an effort to get in.
I'm in the recliner and i have a bottle of wine wedged in my cleavage, drinking from a straw. Clever and classy or pathetic and sloppy?
Randomize
