I hate when my naked walk-arounds are interrupted by someone knocking on the door
If God had a period, it would result in diet faygo redpop
I never said you were fat, just too fat for ME
then again I'm sitting on a tree stump completely naked in the dark listening to some type of glee soundtrack.
Everything was yummy and fruit flavored and five alive and happymeas.
Well then sir I'll probably see you tomorrow after my class and at 3 with your clothes off. Sounds like a solid way to start the weekend to me
My costume for the end of the world party was a success. Everyone in the ER thought I was there because I got hit by a car when it was actually from alcohol poisoning.
this one kid was speed-mumbling about putting broccoli in the printer
Your anal douche was on bathroom counter. Now it's in dumpster. Not ok. I am mad. Very mad.
Is it bad form to spend company money and place an ad in the paper because I wanna nail the sales girl?
You kept hiding under tables and grabbing people's legs and shouting SHARK ATTACK.
I was a plus one at an intervention for a person I didn't know.
Why were u walkin around mc with a toilet bowl lid handcuffed to u and carrying a stuffed Teddy bear last night?
just saw two eagle scouts making out in chic-fil-a
I dont think the chain smoking, tequila shots or cocaine was good for my bronchitis.
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