i cvme to yuor rooom...wherer are youf?
please be gone before i get back
Deffinety need to stop having sex on the beach just took a dump and it was mostly sand
You went to church with your boobs hanging out?
Theyr'e a gift from god, I figured I should show him i'm using them well.
hows that letter of apology to the waitress at waffle house coming?
So there I was.....spitting on my goldfish just to keep it alive.
Just start grabbing cocks. It can't go wrong! Just say you thought you knew him and wanted to check.
The sex was so good I went temporarily numb. Slightly embarrassing when she pointed out I was kissing my own arm.
The Russian stripper asked if I like foreign girls. I told her I absolutely fucking hate accents. Most awkward 7 minutes ever
Apparently, my drunken 3AM idea of safety is to send a GPS map of my location to someone 700 miles away. Seriously considering death as a viable alternative to this hangover. Death or Yuengling.
yep you were here saturday. if you woke up smelling like vanilla i can explain.
Sidenote: do you recall your "give me the d" chant
I just think that if you're going to run around naked outside, a feather boa should be involved. Half for the flair and half for an emergency cover.
Just at the gym drinking. We call it treadmillcolada
In the morning he said my plan to make 2 casseroles today was, "hot in a grandma sort of way," & I didn't think it was weird. THAT'S how hot he was.
My TA is here with a sombrero and an entire bottle of Svedka. Skip jury duty.
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