if you don't start talking to me i'm gonna tell your gf that you said she tastes bad
it hurts more in the daytime
its sad that the first thing i assume is that ur trying to indirectly tell me you fucked on a breakfast table
by asking you if you bought one for the apartment?
I can't believe I wasted a google wave invite on her.
our new exchange student wants to hear all about America's greatest politician, "Oprah." it's gonna be a long fucking day
One of my preschool students told me today that it's not pollution that makes the water in lakes unclean. It's the hobos. I was absolutely speechless. And just so proud.
She gave me head because I gave her my pack of cigarettes...And you said quitting would be hard.
I just don't understand how a line to ride a camel on a college campus could be too long for you to wait in.
were you high?
When?
Actually just blanket yes to that question
I'm pretty sure I had my drunk fortune told by a gay Miss Cleo last night. At least it's advice sober me can agree with.
No really tho I'm wearing a chucky cheese shirt and yoga pants. If that doesn't scream no sex idk what does
Trust me that one dick you don't want. It's like a whale... That's swam too many oceans...
I could go for watching some naked price is right. Looks like a good time to me.
You need to somehow incorporate the phrase "these hoes ain't loyal" into your best man speech.
I'M SO HIGH I FORGOT HOW TO EAT A STRAWBERRY. A FUCKING STRAWBERRY.
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