She told you broke her computer after the little square in tetris wouldn't rotate for you...
Peanut butter while high is kinda stressful
Day two of taking my adderall. I just organized the pantry and alphabetized my dvds. I've missed my mind on drugs
Am I allowed to compare getting cum'd on the face to a warm summer rain?
He wants me to have his first child. So that makes four gay men that've called dibs on my eggs.
I felt that there wouldn't be enough planB and forgiveness to go around
The cleaning lady even cleaned my bong. I'm scared to open my sex toy drawer and see if and how she organized it
I like using largw condoms because they are more comfortable but also I feel bad because it's like false advertisement
He's writing a strongly worded email to Trojan right now
I TOLD YOU THE BARESKIN CONDOMS WEREN'T AS RELIABLE.
Last night was so embarrassing. I got like almost blackout drunk and threw up in my hand and then blamed it on someone else.
The homeless guy who goes through my garbage cans just gave me a flyer for an AA group.
He said he didnt want to choke me, I said im sorry thats a deal breaker.
he drank half a bottle of bushmills, stood up to pee over the side, pissed his pants, sat in the puddle on the deck, told me my life goals were stupid and impossible, and wouldn't leave until 5am. by the time I got up at 8 I had 4 texts and 2 fb messages from him. AND HE STILL THINKS IT WENT WELL
He was like 120 lbs and 20 of that was penis
So far 2 of my professors caught me looking at their dicks
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